Onboard Diary

Report on a morning of Spanish Cinema

Every year FAPAE organizes a market for buying/selling Spanish films towards the international market: Madrid de cine.

Today we were at the press conference that was held at Círculo de Bellas Artes.

This is how it went:

10:00- Pedro Pérez, who not long ago accepted his fault as a gesture of good intentions, starts scrolling technical data on takings and selling of Spanish Cinema. The data is horrible and I want to die of shame and try to sink on my chair, but no one seems to think like me. The press gets bored and a reporter asks "Pedro, will you give us the data on written paper later on?".

10:25- Álex de la Iglesia, sponsor of the event and future director of the Spanish Cinematography Academy, arrives. He apologizes: "I haven't slept all night. I come straight from Los Angeles".

11:45- The data flow continues. Álex de la Iglesia strikes letters of his black iphone. Later, I think I discovered he was actually sending this message to Twitter: @sebasmuriel: so bored man, in one of those meetings!!!

12:00- Questions round. Journalists sharpen their tongues. Álex de la Iglesia confuses me. He touches Pedro's hand, gentle, but still doesn't seem they are friends. In my head some doubts start arising about his future role as Head of the Academy and what we all expect from him.

A journalist mentions some recent statements from Enrique Guardans. The reaction of Álex de la Iglesia and Pedro Pérez is synchronized: both jump off their chairs and say in unison: "Guardans said WHAT?" and then start a nervous laugh saying something like: well, I don't think he said exactly that...

An efficient intern searches for the statements in the internet, prints them, and leaves them on the table in front of both of them. There is a silence. They take a look at it on a fraction of a second, and then change the subject.

12:10- The discussion seems to take a surrealistic diversion and we end up talking about the Spaniards liking or disliking oranges. De la Iglesia, sharp and fast, dodges the journalist's balls by being defensive in his answers.

Finally, Pedro Pérez considers the press conference has ended. They suck up to each other a little, and the meeting is adjourned. Once the recorders have been turned off, the FAPAE President mumbles something like: "I've never done this but, please, we need your help to improve the image of Spanish Cinema..."

I try to sink lower on my chair.

Finally I approach Álex de la Iglesia, the real reason of my presence there, and the following conversation takes place:

Me.- Álex, can I take a minute of your time?

(He seats down and starts writing on his iphone)

Me.- Well, we are developing a project blah blah blah wadus wadus wadus... and I would really appreciate it if you could take a look at it.

Álex de la Iglesia.- Oh, fantastic (looking at the phone).

(I get up)

Álex de la Iglesia.- what about the questions?

Me.- What questions?

Álex de la Iglesia.- From the interview.

Me.- I'm a director, not a journalist.

Álex de la Iglesia.- Oh... Well, even better.

End of Spanish cinema... I mean "day".